


Still Be There

by postapocalyptic_cryptic



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gerry freaks out and Michael tries his best, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, One Shot, Panic Attacks, Pre-Canon, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:00:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23404147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/postapocalyptic_cryptic/pseuds/postapocalyptic_cryptic
Summary: Michael didn't quite know what to do with Gerry Keay. Quite frankly, he'd never met someone like him before. But that wouldn't stop him from trying to be there whenever Gerry needed him. And Gerry definitely needed him right now.
Relationships: Gerard Keay/Michael Shelley
Comments: 4
Kudos: 112





	Still Be There

**Author's Note:**

> This is a super rough one shot with absolutely no context. Tbh, I just need to get something published to try and cure some writer's block.

Gerry had shoved himself completely into the corner, balled up at an angle that didn’t look quite comfortable. His breathing was fast and erratic, back and shoulders jerking up and down in time with the awful sobbing. Michael couldn’t see his face, but the sliver of his forehead between his arm and hair was blotchy red.

Michael settled quietly next to him, tucking his feet under his legs and sighing. He reached out to touch Gerry’s shoulder, but changed his mind at the last second. Gerry was panicking and used to being hurt and _very much_ stronger than Michael, and if he hurt Michael by accident, it would make him more upset. And it would hurt. So Michael started small.

“Hey. Hey, Gerry? Can you hear me?” There was no response at first. Gerry kept rocking back and forth, choking out the occasional unintelligible phrase. “Gerry? Hey, sweetheart, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere but… but I don’t know what to do, either, so I’m just going to sit here with you. Yeah.” Michael leaned back against the wall so that his head was by Gerry’s.

There was another long moment where Gerry didn’t react at all, and Michael opened his mouth to keep rambling, but then. Then, Gerry picked his head up off his knees and glanced towards Michael. He wiped a hand across his face and choked on another sob.

“Gerry! Gerry, are you… Do you need-” Before he could finish whatever it was he might have said, Gerry launched himself at Michael, leaning into him in a way that was almost aggressive. Michael squeaked in surprise, but quickly moved to wrap his arms around Gerry’s waist, pulling him close and tucking Gerry’s chin under his head. “Okay. Okay, yeah, this works.”

Gerry was shaking like a leaf, chest heaving and breaths coming quick and damp and ragged against the collar of Michael’s shirt. His hands opened and closed over and over again, grabbing at Michael’s shirt. It felt like Gerry was fighting with himself, one part of him relaxing against Michael and the other part struggling, trying to get free. Michael thought about letting him go, but then Gerry managed to get a hand around to his other arm and began digging his fingernails into his skin.

“Hey, no. No. Don’t do that, Gerry.” He leaned back, taking Gerry’s hands in his own and trying to look him in the eyes. “Okay, you need to calm down? Can you do that for me?

” Gerry shook his head. “No, no, no, I can’t I can’t I can’t I’m trying-”

“Shh, shh, shh, I know you’re trying. I know it’s hard.” Michael’s heart squeezed as another round of sobs caught up to Gerry, strong enough to make him fall forward into Michael’s chest again. “Okay. Baby steps, alright? Breath with me. In four, hold four, out four, alright?” Gerry nodded. “Okay. In, two three four, hold, two three four, out, two three four.” Michael rubbed his hand across Gerry’s back in time with the counting. “ In, two three four, hold, two three four, out, two three four. In, two three four, hold, two three four, out, two three four. In, two three four…”

Michael doesn’t know how long they sat like that, but it can’t have been too terribly long. After a little while, Gerry’s breathing slowed and the sobs quieted into sniffles and finally into silence. Michael didn’t let go, though. He just held on and kept rambling about anything and everything that came to his mind. Gerry had told him once that it was soothing when he did that.

“I met a woman today who told me she has five cats with rhyming names. I can’t remember all of them, but I think one of them was Poki? Either way, she had a lot of cats, and I know because she came to my desk to give a statement and she saw that picture of you and Rosie’s cat and she asked me, she asked me ‘who that handsome young man with the cat was’ and I told her…”

“...So then I said, ‘Well, you have to make sure to put them into the individual cells because the program is trying to make a matrix…”

“...And so basically, Henry is moving in with his girlfriend, which is like, really cool for them-” Michael was cut off by Gerry sitting up in his lap, hands braced on his shoulders. “Oh. Hi! Do you… Are you…”

“I’m alright. Well, I’m getting there.” Gerry laughed weakly. His eyes were red and his hair was an absolute disaster, but he looked… calm, at least. “Thank you for… for just letting me listen. Thanks for not making me talk.”

Michael was still wrapping his head around the whole idea of Gerry liking to listen to what he had to say, but if this was the result, he wasn’t going to complain. Michael could ramble for the rest of forever, if that’s what Gerry wanted. Right now, though, Gerry probably just wanted a nap. “Do you want to talk about it now, or just go to bed?”

Gerry thought for a moment, grimacing. “Just bed, I think. We can talk about it in the morning. I promise it’s nothing earth-shattering, just normal stuff. I’m just a bit too tired to get into it right now.” Gerry stood, grabbing the wall for support. He usually got dizzy after episodes like this. Even so, he took Michael’s hand and pulled him to his feet.

“That’s okay.” They could talk about it in the morning. They could talk about it a hundred mornings from now. Michael planned on being there for all of it.


End file.
